--- /dev/null
+---
+postid: 000
+title: Why computer programming is not a real trade, and other assorted thoughts
+date: October 1, 2019
+author: Lucian Mogoșanu
+tags: asphalt
+---
+
+Motto: Ah, well, at least you have a real trade. Just think about how
+stupid it sounds: "computer programmer".
+
+Before starting this, I guess I should share a very brief CV, so you
+don't think I'm talking out of my ass. After finishing my (computer)
+engineering studies at Politehnica of Bucharest, I: participated as a
+"software engineer" cum "researcher" in a meanwhile failed software
+start-up[^1] for about four years; taught various undergrad-level
+(computer) engineering slash programming courses, also for about four
+years; and now I'm working as a "software engineer"[^2] in some big
+company hiring cheap work in Bucharest. So we're good, okay?
+
+Now, what's this all about something being a "trade", then? Let's see:
+
+> noun
+>
+> 1. the act or process of buying, selling, or exchanging commodities,
+> at either wholesale or retail, within a country or between
+> countries:
+> domestic trade; foreign trade.
+> 2. the act of buying, selling, or exchanging stocks, bonds, or
+> currency:
+> Stock brokerages typically charge a commission per trade.
+> 3. a purchase or sale; business deal or transaction.
+> 4. an exchange of items, usually without payment of money.
+> 5. Sports. the transfer of a player or players among professional
+> teams:
+> a midseason trade.
+> 6. any occupation pursued as a business or livelihood.
+> 7. some line of skilled manual or mechanical work; craft:
+> the trade of a carpenter; printer's trade.
+> 8. people engaged in a particular line of business:
+> a lecture of interest only to the trade.
+> 9. market:
+> an increase in the tourist trade.
+> 9. a field of business activity:
+> a magazine for the furniture trade.
+> 10. the customers of a business establishment.
+
+The definition applying to our discussion, in case it's not clear from
+the examples, is 7, and *I guess* 6. In Romanian I'd call this
+"meserie", and I guess the term is closely related semantically to
+"liberal profession", which most likely arrived in English via French.
+In Romanian you'd say "liber-profesionist", which I guess in your
+broken language translates to "freelancer", which factually has
+nothing to do with anything.
+
+A trade is some (economically, intellectually and so on and so forth)
+profitable work that someone does, which requires some specific
+skill(s) that separate that someone from the crowd of people who can't
+do said work. Let's take some examples:
+
+* Architecture, that is, the work of designing buildings, is a
+ profitable work; economically, because some people now have roofs
+ over their heads, which provide personal safety and a place to do
+ stuff whether it rains or not; and aesthetically, because said
+ buildings look good[^3]; and from a practical point of view, because
+ you can stand, lie, shit and fuck in them all the same. Meanwhile,
+ walking is a profitable work; practically, because it brings one
+ from point A to B; but all the same, it's not a trade, because
+ unlike architecture, which involves specialized training, almost any
+ bipedal monkey can walk after their first year of existence.
+* Meanwhile, piloting[^4] a vehicle, be it an automobile or some kind
+ of (water or air)ship requires specialized skill, and it's
+ profitable, for the same reasons as walking, so this makes it a
+ (very important) trade. However, lifting 100kg weights with a dildo
+ stuck up one's ass is not a trade, because, while it requires plenty
+ of skill, it doesn't bring anything of value to anyone except maybe
+ the one who does it.
+* The same applies to, say: medicine (plenty of theoretical study
+ required), whoring (contrary to popular opinion, plenty of practical
+ study required), carpentry (plenty of both) or [leather
+ work][logz-leather]. The same *does not* apply to, say: talking,
+ moving papers for one place to another[^5], appearing on
+ television[^6] or shouting loudly about how you want to make the
+ world "a better place"[^7].
+
+Do these examples cover it for you? No? Well, come up with your own
+then, imagination isn't a skill either.
+
+Now as for the *why* part, you'd imagine, like the naive little soul
+you are, that programming computers falls into the same category as
+say, carpentry or medicine. Programming is a highly specialized thing
+that reads like fucking Chinese[^8]; and some people make money off it
+somewhere, so it *must* be profitable work... right?
+
+Well yes, except: I hear the imperial religions dictate that, in the
+vein of "no child left behind", "everyone gotta STEM" and other
+nonsense, everyone's supposed to know how to write code[^9]. And as
+far as I know "everyone" already does: I was writing code in the 8th
+grade, and nowadays the average highschool kiddo can easily Google
+their Javascript tutorial and whatnot for the basic glue and tape
+required for their MacGuyvering. Except said kids have no notion
+whatsoever of profitability -- in fact, they have no notion of
+reality, given how all this magic computer stuff distorts their
+perception. There's many of them and not all that much useful work to
+be done, really, and even if they find it, they'll just wallow in
+their ineptitude ad nauseam... remember [douchebag][douchebag], by the
+way?
+
+Moreover, the people who "make money off code", don't make money off
+that, for fuck's sake. They make money off selling you games, or
+[standing systems up][stand-up-systems], or some other product which
+has some actual *meaning* attached to it. Nobody gives a flying fuck
+that that thing has any software in it, and the minute they figure out
+how to do all that stuff without keeping [fungible cogs][fungible] in
+the machine, you're out. And I sure as hell hope they do it too, given
+all that irritating [exceptionalist][exceptionalism] yammering about
+how you're a "developer".
+
+Are you aware that "sysadmins", yes, the lowest of the lowest in
+computing, whom everyone despises when the [server][server] goes down,
+the guys who, unlike you, have the courage to get their hands
+dirty... are you aware that they do *tons* more useful work than you
+writing all that code? And even that's not a liberal profession,
+because... look, here's the thing:
+
+As long as you sit on your ass waiting for that
+weekly/monthly/whatever dole[^10] to come jumping in your lap, you
+can't call yourself a "liber-profesionist". So get over yourself
+already.
+
+[^1]: Perhaps I should give an account of that sometime? Perhaps,
+ sometime.
+
+[^2]: In case you were wondering, the quotes mean that the term is
+ misused by the people loudly spouting it. The activity y'all call
+ that ain't got [anything][software-engineering] to do with actual
+ engineering.
+
+ And yes, there's such a thing as "actual" engineering, since
+ there's bridges, planes and all that other stuff that works and
+ you can't build.
+
+[^3]: Debatably, nowadays, but what can I say.
+
+[^4]: Why is the aircraft pilot called a "pilot", while the guy who
+ drives a car is simply a "driver"? And yes, by "driver" I mean a
+ professional who knows reasonably well the technical aspects
+ pertaining to his car, not the nobodies who [buy Mercs on
+ credit][logz-merc]. What the fuck, am I to call all the orcs who
+ spend their entire day in Microshit Word "computer users" now?
+
+[^5]: Or however you'd call a bureaucratic job. You know, whatever
+ most government employees tend to do, whether they're hired in
+ some ministry or in the so-called "[academia][academia]". I know,
+ I know, the latter's highly specialized, but again, what can I
+ say.
+
+[^6]: Or MyFaceTube, whatever the kids call it nowadays.
+
+[^7]: Okay, maybe shouting loudly passes for a skill... somewhat. A
+ talent, even, but whatever.
+
+[^8]: And unlike Chinese, you "must write it this way and not that
+ other one!" or the computer will refuse to talk to you. Stubborn
+ fucking computers, aren't they?
+
+ No, I'm telling you, there's no stubborness involved, they'll do
+ [precisely what you tell them][machine] to, but you gotta *know*
+ how to say the magic words, only because they're so fucking
+ stupid. What "artificial intelligence", man, are you mad?
+
+[^9]: [See][gartner] for yourself:
+
+ > A **citizen developer** is a user who creates new business
+ > applications for consumption by others using development and
+ > runtime environments sanctioned by corporate IT. In the past,
+ > end-user application development has typically been limited to
+ > single-user or workgroup solutions built with tools like
+ > Microsoft Excel and Access. However, today, end users can build
+ > departmental, enterprise and even public applications using
+ > shared services, fourth-generation language (4GL)-style
+ > development platforms and cloud computing services.
+
+ [Also][cacademy]:
+
+ > Now, you can go online to Google, type in: Learn to code, and
+ > you will find hundreds of courses available for you. And you
+ > should do that. You don’t have to turn this into a career. You
+ > don’t have to be the world’s best software developer. But you
+ > need to learn it for three specific reasons.
+
+ He's not even wrong, you know: just Google some shit, copy-paste
+ some of that other shit from Stack Overflow, and there!
+ coding. Which reminds me: I've done plenty of "coding by copying"
+ in my life, only I've copied it line by line, typing it with my
+ own fingers, which has forced me to understand what the fuck I'm
+ writing. And no, there was no Stack Overflow back then, muie.
+
+ > The first is it’s a mindset that we live in now in the 21st
+ > century. It’s called an If This, Then That mindset, and it’s the
+ > mindset required to think in terms of coding. This will help you
+ > understand artificial intelligence, machine learning,
+ > algorithms, and the way technology works today.
+
+ I have no idea what this means.
+
+ > The second reason that we need to do it is: In almost all of our
+ > jobs we are going to have to interact with and connect with
+ > software developers over the next few years – software
+ > developers who are writing the algorithms that will ultimately
+ > replace part of our jobs – but the better job that we do of
+ > knowing what they’re doing and how they’re doing it, the better
+ > we are equipped to be of value to the business going forward.
+
+ Software developers who are so [fucked in the head][sexy].
+
+ > And the third thing is: It’s kind of like reading, writing and
+ > arithmetic. It’s part of what is essential for all of us into
+ > the future. Sure, you did maths at school and you might never
+ > have used trigonometry or calculus again, but it’s the basics –
+ > the foundations – of our modern education.
+
+ Except, most people have no fucking idea how to read, write or do
+ basic maths. No, I'm not hating, just looking around and calling a
+ spade a spade.
+
+ Anyway, I guess we've had enough fun with this particular piece of
+ shit found on the interwebs.
+
+[^10]: Yes, I'm aware you call it a "salary". Whatever.
+
+[software-engineering]: /posts/y02/049-the-myth-of-software-engineering-ii.html
+[logz-leather]: http://logs.ossasepia.com/log/trilema/2019-09-05#1933821
+[logz-merc]: http://logs.nosuchlabs.com/log/trilema/2019-07-29#1925480
+[academia]: /posts/y02/045-academic-hogwash.html
+[machine]: /posts/y03/05f-two-plus-two.html
+[gartner]: http://archive.is/LAhZZ
+[cacademy]: http://archive.is/11uW9
+[sexy]: http://trilema.com/2017/the-sexy-problem-formalized/#footnote_11_74930
+[douchebag]: http://logs.nosuchlabs.com/log-search?q=from%3Adouchebag&chan=trilema
+[stand-up-systems]: http://trilema.com/2019/so-i-was-thinking/#comment-131244
+[fungible]: http://www.loper-os.org/?p=69
+[exceptionalism]: http://trilema.com/2013/personal-exceptionalism/
+[server]: /posts/y00/01a-grim-fandango.html#fnref3
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